1
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:35,240
You reckon they got in
through the back?

2
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,240
Yeah. We reckon it was drug addicts.

3
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,440
They took all the drugs.

4
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:45,800
A packet of Beechams,
a bottle of Night Nurse, all gone.

5
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:45,800
Doesn't surprise me, I can see
145 points of entry into the shop.

6
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,920
Are there?

7
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,920
Try and keep me out.

8
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,760
You see?

9
00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:00,960
That's why you need this.
I install this system in zoos.

10
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:07,800
The glass is soundproofed.

11
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:07,800
You need soundproofing in zoos?

12
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,800
Well, otherwise the kids
start calling the lions pricks.

13
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:14,320
It's a very good system.
You know the CIA?

14
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:14,320
Yeah.

15
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,320
They probably use something better.

16
00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,000
Oh, right, right, yeah. Wow.

17
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:21,800
I read about the CIA. Apparently,
they've got this stationery,

18
00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:26,000
looks normal, but
when you write on it, it dissolves.

19
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,400
Nah, that's bollocks.
Right, very simple.

20
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:34,200
When you go out,
just press 0-5 to arm.

21
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,200
ALARM

22
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:40,240
And to disarm, just press
3-3-6-9-8-8-5-4... (FADES)

23
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,400
3-9-9. You listening to me or what?

24
00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:01,920
What? Er, yeah.

25
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,920
Shall I go through it again?

26
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,920
N-No, that's fine.

27
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,920
Hi, Bernard. The alarm system's on.

28
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:10,520
It prevents the door being opened
unless you put in the code.

29
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:15,080
It makes it more secure.

30
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,080
Er, the glass is soundproofed.

31
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,680
Ah. The glass is soundproofed.
The thicker glass...

32
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:23,320
SILENCE

33
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:23,320
You're a beard
with an idiot hanging off it.

34
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:28,240
BEEPING

35
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,240
UNLOCKING MECHANISM

36
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:38,200
Well, here I am.

37
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:38,200
Listen, your friend here's got
all the details, so I'll be off.

38
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:44,320
(LISPS) but remember the three Ss -

39
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:44,320
(LISPS) Three Ss?

40
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,320
Yeah,
shecurity, shecurity, shecurity.

41
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:49,000
Sorry, I didn't get what you said
because of your amazing lisp.

42
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,800
Did you tell them
they got in through the back?

43
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:57,240
Yes.

44
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,240
Well, we couldn't say
you left the front door open.

45
00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:59,440
What sort of world is it

46
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:04,560
where you can't leave the door open
without getting robbed?

47
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,560
It's this sort of world, Gandalf.

48
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,880
This is the main lock.
You arm it by pressing 0-5.

49
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,000
PHONE

50
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,000
Hang on.

51
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:16,520
Hello? Yes? No,
I am going to pay that bill. I am.

52
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,200
Yes, I know... Yeah...

53
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,720
No, I... Yea...

54
00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:24,520
Excuse me, could you... Hang on. Yes.

55
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:31,920
Oh, you agree with everything
I'm saying? Terrific. Bye.

56
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,600
How much for these?

57
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:42,800
£40.

58
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:42,800
They're worth more than that.
These are good hardbacks.

59
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,840
Tolstoy...

60
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,840
I know, I know, I know.

61
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:50,240
I don't want them! I'll have to price
them and put them up on shelves

62
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:54,240
and store them and
people'll ask about them and buy them

63
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,640
and read them and come back
and sell them

64
00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,240
and the whole hideous cycle
will go on and on and on!

65
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:05,440
Just, please, take them away.
Sorry, no, it won't work. Here.

66
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,200
Here's £40,
just take them away, please.

67
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,760
I got it.

68
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,760
A-ha. Give, give, give.

69
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:23,960
Oh, my God.

70
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:23,960
What?

71
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,960
It's Howell, Howell Granger,
I was at college with him.

72
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:27,280
Well, go and say hello.

73
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,280
No, don't. He... confuses me.

74
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,160
He confuses me.
He's... he's a total arsehole,

75
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:36,960
but he's got this voice
and it just does things to me.

76
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,160
(DEEP, HUSKY VOICE) Fran?

77
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,440
My God, what are you doing here?

78
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,640
Howell!

79
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:49,400
Hello. I... have a shop.

80
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,080
Erm, I mean, I-I work next door.

81
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:56,640
Oh.

82
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:56,640
Erm, ho-how are you?

83
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,640
Oh, I'm great, you know.

84
00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:00,320
Still beavering away in Radio Four.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

85
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,800
Hey, you look Fran-tastic.

86
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:12,320
You sound well.

87
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:12,320
Oh, thank you. I hope so, I'm doing
the shipping forecast tonight.

88
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,320
That's... good?

89
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,720
Oh, well, I suppose I'd better
shuffle off before I buy something.

90
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,240
I'm voracious at the moment, Fran.

91
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:24,400
I seem to be swallowing books whole,
devouring them. I'm ravenous.

92
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:24,400


93
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:28,440
NEEDLE SCRATCHES ON RECORD

94
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,440
My number,
should you wish to give me a tinkle.

95
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,320
(GIBBERS)

96
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,720
Goodbye.

97
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:35,720
Arrivederci, Francesca.

98
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,640
Hey, Genghis.

99
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:50,200
Isn't it your cinema night tonight?

100
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:50,200
Yeah. I'm going to see
Armapocalypse, wanna come?

101
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,640
I don't think I will, no.

102
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:57,440
Fran and I are meeting for drinks,
aren't we, Fran?

103
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,440
Shipping.

104
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:01,200
Try something new, absinthe.
You know the slogan?

105
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:05,640
"The drink that makes you
wanna kill yourself instantly."

106
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:10,720
Looking forward to that, eh, Fran?

107
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,720
Forecast.

108
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,720
Ha, that's right.

109
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,040
Do you think I should wash my beard?

110
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:22,680
I think you should wash it, yeah.
Then shave it off,

111
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,160
nail it to a Frisbee

112
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,800
and fling it over a rainbow.

113
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:34,240
All right. What was the last film
you went to see?

114
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,160
Er,... Oh, you know, the astronauts.

115
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:42,040
Armageddon?

116
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:42,040
Before that. At the end,
he goes "You finally did it!"

117
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,640
and then you see
the Statue of Liberty on the beach.

118
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:49,880
The last film you went to see
was Planet Of The Apes?!

119
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,880
Yeah. Amazing effects.

120
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:53,320
You really believed
monkeys could have meetings.

121
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:58,440
And you've not been to the cinema
since then?

122
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,440
Nah. It's all tossycock.

123
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:06,160
Better than getting mashed
every night with only the dead bees
on the windowsill for company.

124
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,160
I like the dead bees.

125
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:10,080
At least they don't leave
the door open and get us robbed!

126
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,960
Don't get judgey with me,
Ming the Merciless.

127
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,040
What's the story
with this alarm thing anyway?

128
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:23,920
How does it work? Whaddya do?

129
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,920
Right, now,...

130
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,920
You press, what, 0-5 to arm it?

131
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:28,960
Yes, you press 0-5 and then you
go out and it'll lock automatically.

132
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:35,160
When you come back in, punch in
the code and the lock will open.

133
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,160
First question, when I come in?

134
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,760
But how do I get in
through the locked door?

135
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:44,080
Ah, that's the clever thing.

136
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,080
Oh, right, yeah.

137
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:53,840
Er, could you repeat the question?

138
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,840
I'm outside, the door is locked,

139
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:58,040
Right.

140
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:58,040
the keypad is inside,...

141
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,040
Sorry, my fault.

142
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,040
how can I enter the building?

143
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,200
I see. The thing... Er,...

144
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,480
The... Erm,... Co... The code!

145
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:10,680
Thank you. Sorry to bring this up
again, how do I get in?

146
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,680
The code opens the door.

147
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,680
I know the code opens the door!

148
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:14,480
But how do I get in to punch
in the code to open the door?

149
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,880
OK, for the moment,
just tell me the code.

150
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,880
There was a little man.

151
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:33,200
"There was a little man" is the code?

152
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:33,200
No, I didn't hear the code because
he had a little man in his hair.

153
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,480
Well, the little man in my hair's
getting very, very angry.

154
00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:44,720
What are you talking about?

155
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,720
He had a Subbuteo player
in his hair, I got distracted!

156
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:51,640
So we have a security system
that doesn't let anybody in or out?

157
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:56,480
Yes!

158
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:56,480
Yes! Including us!

159
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,480
We'll get used to it.

160
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,480
Oh? HOW DO WE GET USED TO IT?!

161
00:08:56,680 --> 00:09:01,360
What's the problem?!

162
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:01,360
LOOK, IT'S VERY SIMPLE! I'M OUTSIDE!

163
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:04,600
Right!

164
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,600
THE DOOR IS LOCKED.

165
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,680
Now, basically,
what happens now is that you...

166
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:14,360
Wait, I see the problem here. You
have to get in to punch in the code.

167
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:20,880
Is this locked now?

168
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:20,880
I can't hear you. I'll punch in
the code and let you in.

169
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,520
You... Have you locked me out?!

170
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,600
Just one sec.

171
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,680
YES! YES!

172
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,880
YOU HAVE!

173
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,280
WRITE SOMETHING USEFUL, YOU STUPID...

174
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,520
I know, it's annoying.

175
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,840
PRESSES NUMBERS

176
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,000
DEAD TONE

177
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,600
Fran.

178
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,600


179
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,000
"..on Radio Four at 2.30.
Now, our weekly visit..."

180
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,360
Ga!

181
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,360
ENGAGED TONE

182
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,720
DISTANT SIREN

183
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,160
AH!

184
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,320
Oh, er,... Right.

185
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,320
Er, OK, just relax.

186
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,320
Relax.

187
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,280
Starving. Where?

188
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,120
Cupboard.

189
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,160
Ah! A-ha.

190
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,040
No, no, no!

191
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,800
Eugh.

192
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,800
Is... Ah!

193
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,280
Ah.

194
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:33,000
Ah. "When you find yourself
in a desperate situation,

195
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:37,960
you can find edible grubs or roots,
even insects provide nutrition."

196
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:41,960
"It's vital to stay warm
and have adequate liquid."

197
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:49,600
Heh. Right. "Morale is just
as important as adequate hydration."

198
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:54,360
"It may sound absurb, but a singsong
has seen many a lonely soldier

199
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:57,520
through a long night in the wilds."
Hmm.

200
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:02,280


201
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:07,000

I'm head over... da-di-da

202
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,000
Mm. Crunchy.

203
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,760
Sorry, there seems to be a mistake.

204
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:34,640
I bought a drink and some popcorn
and now I have no money?

205
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,640
That's how much it costs.

206
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:40,000
Why, is it special popcorn?
Does it produce a dizzying high or...

207
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:43,560
Cola, please.

208
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,520
(SLURRED) That's the trap set up.

209
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:09,320
"Now, wait for rabbit to approach."

210
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,720
Rabbit?

211
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,200
Where am I gonna get a rabbit?

212
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:22,000
"It is vital to maintain
radio contact."

213
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:27,720
RADIO BUZZES ON

214
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:54,680
Excuse me, this might sound funny,
but could I, please, have 10p?

215
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,680
You joking?

216
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,680
No. Could I, please?

217
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,640
Please don't be engaged, Fran.
Don't be engaged.

218
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,720
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO
AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT?!

219
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:14,040
"..and after the news, the shipping
forecast read by Howell Granger."

220
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,800
Eep.

221
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000
(BLOWS)

222
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:42,640
Nasty night out there?

223
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:42,640
Yeah, yeah. Freezing. (SHIVERS)
Wouldn't wanna be stuck out there.

224
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:47,280
A lot of low air pressure came down
from Abernethy or somewhere and...

225
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:53,040
Is that right?
Now, what can I interest you in?

226
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:53,040
Oh, yeah. Right.

227
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:58,280
OK. I'd like some
hardcore pornography, please.

228
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,280
All right. 'Ere y'are.

229
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:06,760
Set in a woman's prison, £25.

230
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:06,760
You got anything in a town hall where
they guess the weight of a cake and..

231
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,760
No. Got one with nurses.

232
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:15,960
What kind of nurses though?

233
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:15,960
The kind with big tits!

234
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:15,960
But are they in administration? I'd
want hospital paperwork and that...

235
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:21,960
That's very specific.

236
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:21,960
Keep looking, we'll find something.
Can you turn the radiator up?

237
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:29,480
Administrative Nurses, £40.

238
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:29,480
Sorry, I meant to say I'm interested
only in senior administrative nurses.

239
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:35,640
Could we watch it together?
We could get a bottle of wine and...

240
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,640
Out!

241
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,480
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
WHAT TAKES THIS LONG?!

242
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:52,760
RADIO: "Northwest Finisterre."

243
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,760
(GASPS)

244
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,760
"Northwesterly backing..."

245
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,760
(GASPS AND SQUEALS)

246
00:16:55,760 --> 00:17:01,120
"Squawly showers,
moderate becoming good."

247
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,120
(SQUEALS) Good!

248
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:05,720
(VERY SLURRED)
Very lonely. I'm a lonely soldier.

249
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,320
Come in. Come in!

250
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,800
RADIO STATIC

251
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,800
This is lonely soldier.

252
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,000
My coordinates are...

253
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,720
bookshop!

254
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:26,040
"Lundy, Fastnet, Irish Sea,..."

255
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,040
Hello?

256
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:31,880
(SQUEALS)

257
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:31,880
"German Bight, southwest
veering west, five to seven."

258
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,520
"Good."

259
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,520
(GASPS) Good. Good! Good!

260
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,680
"That is the end
of the shipping forecast."

261
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:42,560
No. No, no! No, wait, please! Wait!
Howell, please come back! Howell!

262
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:47,960
"Now, A Book At Bedtime.
Joe Pasquali reads Heidi
by Johanna Spyri."

263
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:55,000
"(SQUAWKY VOICE)
The pretty town of Mayenfeld lies
at the foot of a mountain range,"

264
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,000
Ah!

265
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,240
"whose grim rugged peaks..."

266
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,240
Ah! Ah!

267
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,560
"Behind the town of Mayenfeld,..."

268
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,800
C-cou... Does the, erm,...

269
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,640
Mamba burger come with zesty cheese?

270
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:30,960
No.

271
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,960
OK, er, then could I have some...

272
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,760
Hunky Dunkers
with barbecue Hunky Dunky dip?

273
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,640
Er, and a Mucky chocolate milkshake.

274
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:43,040
What size?
Small, medium, Goliath or God?

275
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:50,320
PA: "One Hunky Dunkers, barbecue
Hunky Dunker dip and a medium Mucky"

276
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:56,840
That'll be £4.99.

277
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:56,840
Erm, I'm a little light at
the moment. Er, actually,... Er,...

278
00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:01,400
(STUTTERS) This... This belt... is...
is made from real leather.

279
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:04,760
Feel it. Go on. Have a feel.

280
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:09,960
If you're not eating anything,
you'll have to leave the premises.

281
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,960
RUMBLING THUNDER

282
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,240
"I will do so immediately, sir."

283
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,120
I will do so immediately,...

284
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,480
sir. I will do so immediately, sir.

285
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,400
Hello. (SIGHS)

286
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:04,640
"HEAVY BREATHING"

287
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,240
Hello? Who is this?

288
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,840
Is this you, Mummy?

289
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:13,240
I can hear you breathing, whoever
you are. You're testing my patience.

290
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:19,040
I know there's someone there.
Right, that's it, I'm hanging up.

291
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,040
"Don't hang up, Howell!"

292
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,040
Fran?

293
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:27,040
Is this you, Fran?

294
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:27,040
"(BREATHES HEAVILY)"

295
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:27,040
Are you OK? Are you in any pain?

296
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:32,240
"(BREATHING QUICKENS)"

297
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:32,240
Do you want me to come over?

298
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:34,960
"(GASPS)"

299
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:32,240
I'll come over, Fran. Shall I come?

300
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,960
I'll come, Fran. I'll come.

301
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:40,680
"Ah, ah, ah!"

302
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:40,680
I'll come.

303
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:40,680
"A-A-A-A-A-A-A-AH!"

304
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,920
Fran!

305
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,400
Fran, my God, what's happened?!

306
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,000
"Hello, Howell, sorry about that."

307
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:59,800
Fran, are you all right?

308
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:59,800
Yes, I... I'm fine, thank you.
I just caught my...

309
00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:05,840
foot in the fridge.

310
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:05,840
Oh, erm...

311
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,840
Anyway, thanks, goodbye.

312
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,880
(SPLUTTERS)

313
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,480


314
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,480
Erm,...

315
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:21,160
Is it still raining outside?

316
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:21,160
Er, yeah.

317
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:21,160
Right, welcome to the thing,
whatever this place is.

318
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:26,960
OK. Erm,
can I ha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ve, er,

319
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:32,280
E-E-E-E-E-E-Is...

320
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:32,280
WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

321
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,280
A Mambo burger. Mambo burger, please

322
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,520
What do they look like?

323
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:35,520
It's sort of two layers.

324
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:41,480
What does the wrapper look like?

325
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:41,480
Oh, it's, erm, the red...
red and white, I think.

326
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:42,720
Here, there you go.

327
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,200
No, no, no, no, no, just, er,...

328
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:49,320
This... this one.

329
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,320
There you go.

330
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,320
No, no, no. No, no.

331
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:54,280
I think that's it.

332
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,280
(COUGHS) There's bacon or something.

333
00:21:54,280 --> 00:22:01,000
Er, no, that's not it.

334
00:21:55,800 --> 00:22:01,000
(COUGHS) That one is very nice.

335
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,000
It's not that one.

336
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,000
andlt; Try it, it's nice, give it a shot

337
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:05,000
It'll be nice, have it!
Give me a quid.

338
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,000
Can I get some chips, too, please?

339
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:11,000
How many?

340
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,000
Roughly, how many? Come on!

341
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,040
40?

342
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,640
(COUNTS UNDER HIS BREATH)

343
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:29,800
Two quid.

344
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,800
(SNIFFS)

345
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,800
And, erm, a diet coke.

346
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:38,160
No, no, no, no.

347
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,360
Coke's off. Have some extra chips.

348
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:53,240
Can I have Mambo chilli dog...

349
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,240
Is it still raining?

350
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,480
CAR TOOTING HORN

351
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,640
What happened?

352
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:17,920
Oh, you were burgled again.

353
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,920
Huh? There was nothing left to take.
What'd they get?

354
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:22,320
Well, as far as I can make out,
they took the security system.

355
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,440
Thank Christ for that.

356
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:32,680
What's up with him?

357
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,680
He drank all our absinthe.

358
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,680
I'm the lonely soldier.

359
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,800
What are you doin'?

360
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,800
Putting a cold flannel on his head.

361
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,080
Why?

362
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,080
They do that in the films.

363
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,520
Where were you when I needed you?

364
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,520
Oh, yeah, Bernard,

365
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,640
something came... up.

366
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,320
I-I'm so, so sorry.

367
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:53,440
Erm, what did you do?

368
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:53,440
Oh, just my usual night out.

369
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:57,760
Saw an experimental film
where nothing happened for two hours!

370
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:02,440
Hung out with a pornographer,
got a job in a burger bar, the usual!

371
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,400
Bernard,... Bernard, I'm sorry.

372
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:11,520
Forget it.

373
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,520
No, there's another thing.

374
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,520
I ate... (MUMBLES)

375
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:19,480
What did you do?

376
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:19,480
(MUMBLES)

377
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,480
WHAT DID YOU DO?!

378
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,480
I ate all your bees!

379
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:47,360
Intelfax Subtitles by
YORICK BROWN